Rules of Engagement.




It’s occurred to me that some of you might be getting engaged on Valentine’s Day and I would like to offer my honest opinion on this action. Don’t do it. I’m not necessarily saying don’t get engaged, because some of you might really be serious about being married. Fine, go right ahead, but let me offer you some suggestions for both males and females.

  1. Don’t get married because if you don’t, you’re going to break up. This, my friends, is a sign. Break up and get it over with now. Beat the rush.
  2. Don’t propose on Valentine’s Day in an overpriced restaurant.
  3. Don’t buy a big, fancy ring.

You know I won’t suggest something without providing evidence, so here goes.

Firstly, if one of you is ready to get married and the other one is not, then neither of you are.  The fact that one of you is being blackmailed into it is not going to make things better.  I know Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, but it’s not actually the sort of thing that gets you through life. There could be a legitimate reason for both of you being in the same relationship and not being in the same emotional place at the same time. Might be an excellent time for you to review what you actually want in life.

Secondly, it’s not just proposing in overpriced restaurants that’s trite anymore. You may have to really think hard on this one, or…you know…not.  Don’t over-complicate the matter, though. Don’t have all your friends show up on a street corner with certain cars that have to drive by while playing certain songs and then have a marching band show up playing the very same song with a banner that says, “(Something ridiculously sappy)”  You’re likely to end up exceptionally stressed when one car doesn’t make it through the red light, or you might end up with a totaled car and some flattened instruments. It’s already big enough. Skip the Valentine’s Day thing, though.  It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s going to be overdone if you do it on Valentine’s Day.  You know what day could use some spicing up?  Thursday.  It’s always an undervalued day.

Thirdly, and most importantly, don’t go six years into debt for this.  I am of the opinion that the diamond ring has become the symbol of mediocre thought in our society, and that’s not because I don’t want one. I like diamonds, and it’s my birthstone, and I’ve never had one… but..there are a few things that I keep coming back to on this one. No matter how much value you put on it, it’s still a rock. It just sits there and does nothing. If you’re starting a life together, does buying a rock really make sense? During a conversation about this very thing the other day, some friends of mine and I came up with the best engagement offering would be a Kitchen Aid with all the attachments.  I think we also decided the girl should give it to the guy.  And why not?  What makes us so special as women that we have to be presented with some expensive gift to bribe us into getting married?  What makes the guy so unimportant that he gets nothing?  A diamond might be forever, but a Kitchen Aid is loaves of bread, cakes, pies, and ravioli.

I may not know you, but I want you to be happy, and I want you to get the most out of your life. I don’t have any special expertise to back this up except that I have, at one time, been married.  I’d advise you to make your own days in life, and not go with commercially pre-set holidays. Celebrate the moments of your life when the rest of the world is at home watching reruns…on a Thursday.


2 responses »

  1. Ummm… randomly found this and really appreciate it. Thanks from one slightly jaded and maybe a little bitter single girl. 🙂

    • You’re welcome from a really jaded, really bitter girl that’s now happily dating someone. It happens, but sometimes you have to just be bitter and jaded for a while. I think it’s healthy despite what everybody else says. 😉

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